{ Kindness }

KINDNESS, n. [from kind, the adjective.]

1. Good will; benevolence; that temper or disposition which delights in contributing to the happiness of others, which is exercised cheerfully in gratifying their wishes, supplying their wants or alleviating their distresses; benignity of nature. 
Kindness ever accompanies love. 
There is no man whose kindness we may not sometime want, or by whose malice we may not sometime suffer.

~ Websters Dictionary, 1828

Through my day to day experiences and mingling with people from all walks of life, it never fails to surprise me how- just by being honest, for example- if I appreciate a person's good  trait or even by simply paying a compliment e.g. that they look great today or that 'pink is your color...', etcetera  - it kind of makes their day. The way their eyes light up is in itself a small miracle. In a way, when you make people feel good about themselves genuinely is no small feat.

I don't mean to put people in the spotlight all the time, I'm just being myself (being the blabbermouth that I am, ha,ha,ha...) If there is one lesson I learned in this journey called life is to know that there is always something inherently good in all people, no matter what they are or how they appear to be. It annoys some people that I never share their low opinion or view other's through a glass dark and ghastly, and sometimes my behaviour is a rebuke to them but I just can't help it because I believe we can never write people off completely.  It's not up to us to judge...there is always a bigger picture than the one in front of our eyes, after all we don't know everything. For who knows our hearts? who knows our innermost thoughts? only God knows, see. Some people  are too quick to judge, but none of us are exempt, for we all do err.

Anyway, the recipients of my praise and compliments think of me as kind, but really, I am simply stating the facts. I think we need to learn how to 'appreciate' each other  more. I'm not referring to flattery either but more on verbalising sincere compliments and praise. You do get what I mean...

That is one of the things I notice in funeral services- heaps of heartwarming words and praise for the deceased but when they were alive, they didn't know how much they were appreciated, see? what's it worth then?  it would have meant more if those were uttered and expressed when they were still alive. Unfortunately, in this busy world, we can become self-indulgent, competitive and selfish, which is sad; we forgot how it is to be kind, forgiving and gracious to one another. We reserve our kind words for funerals. 

We got used to seeing faults, errors, weaknesses, imperfections and failures- in ourselves and on others and I honestly see the need to 're-train' our eyes. So,when someone comes along genuinely saying some lovely things about us or helping us out in some way, we feel small, undeserving and inadequate. We just don't know how to love ourselves anymore,we often know how to love others but we simply struggle a bit when we are at the receiving end; the thing is- we all need it. We need to learn how to express and at the same time receive kindness and love. To embrace and let go of compassion, forgiveness and to just be human again. I can't forget, years ago when I was working in a cafe', one of my workmates bullied me but I never paid attention to any of her antics. I just carried on with my job and that's it. My boss told me, that I am too kind...that my kindness is a weakness. I disagree with that statement. Kindness is not a weakness, in contrast I see it as strenght. It is being able to override negative emotions and prejudices in favor of forgiveness and love. That alone is great strenght. 

I remember one of my tutors giving me a compliment at a time when I was full of self-doubt; that lifted my spirits up and it enabled me to regain my crumbling confidence. Another time, one girlfriend helped me out when I was feeling really down, the fact that she was there to listen to all my angst and bitterness and to pray for me, meant the world.  It's comforting to know that somebody is there when we become vulnerable. That is why my belief that kindness goes a long way, is often re-affirmed in times when I myself am a recipient of kindness and appreciation and this inspires me even more to pay it forward. I guess, if we all consider this, it will make a difference, no matter how small, to somebody else's life.

Be kind to others and be kind to yourself too- it's one of life's gentle miracles.