{The Heartbreak Kid}

I am beginning to think that I am the original heartbreak kid and before your eyes take in another line of words, I know you'll be asking me why...I won't burden you with details. I just want to let out some steam is all. My eyes are too puffy from crying to even type correctly.
See, despite my optimism and rosy take on my life and it's share of what may now seem to me without a speck of doubt as endless tribulations, I realized that I am human too. I feel - and man, I feel it all (sigh); but let me tell you how some days, I prefer to not feel anything at all. 
Today would be one great day- if I become numb and callous and carefree...if I could just fly away and not feel anything. Nothing, not even love... Because the honest truth, minus the romanticism is that- love begets so much heart ache. It truly does. That sounds brutal I know, but that is truth. The reason behind is because love embraces all faults, all the thorns, it embraces the despicable, the unlovable and in the process- it hurts, it breaks. And right now, that is exactly how I feel, I feel so brocken I could hear my heart crack. 
I know this will pass too, like all things given time, but right now I am drowning in my own pity party and I don't care anymore. I deserve a break down. I am not strong all the time. I am needy, weepy, I just want to curl up in a ball and disappear like a bubble. My sadness is beyond sad, it's turned into angst...
Yesterday, I mentioned to some friends that 'I'm happy' and I really felt happy, hence the declaration, but somehow life can turn the table on you quicker than batting an eyelash. 
Storm clouds, again gathered uninvited yesterday. It was loud, tumultous and howling. This morning, it was worse, the hatred was almost palpable...I am, well... I am heart brocken. 
Life can be so ironic, dont you think? It is heart breaking when what you do to the best of who you are, no matter how hard you try is never enough for some people. What more can you do?