{ Deflated }

This picture says it all, I keep denying myself the freedom to have a decent break down and now it's squeezing out of  every pore of my body and it seems beyond control. I feel really bad. 

Whew...and again- whew!  my stress levels went way over my head for the last couple of weeks and I was falling apart, truly, and even I can't seem to help it. Just too many things going on simultaneously and my juggling act went haywire. I was losing my hard earned self-confidence and I didn't like the feeling of being such a big failure at all, you know. I am modest to a fault and the fact that I started believing in myself, takes a lot of energy for me...and so, to see it all crumbling down (the past few months) is very difficult. I guess all the stress were building up and I can no longer keep it in, even if I want to. Sucks.
I usually am good at these things but- newsflash- I am still human! I'm no superwoman and I should stop torturing myself by setting such high standards that are not realistic nor healthy for me. Another lesson learned- the hard way. Looking back, now I feel embarassed for having a breakdown in front of my tutor at Tech (blush!) hmmm...yikes.
However, my stress level is slowly de-escalating, and I have made a  decision to look after myself more :) I think I need to change my mindset about certain things in my life. Now, I reckon self- love is as important as giving love to others...I guess one could call it self-preservation?