weep

My eyes have swollen from weeping...been teary eyed for days, sulking, unashamedly bawling in front of people...sigh. I am so apologetic afterwards but i can't seem to help it. I'm just sad at the moment but I know i'll get over this. I have gone through so much worse compared to this but somehow this hurts more, maybe because i've thrown myself in completely and without reservation and so it will naturally hurt when disappointments come along. I am grateful though for my friends who feel for me... i'll miss them (which makes me sadder, i suppose for i have developed good friendships). It's just frustrating to think that after so much work there is nothing at the end of the tunnel, ugh...and i've worked so hard too :(
But anyway, i will move on, i will gather every ounce of courage that i have left and move forward. Unexpected things happen in life and i just have to learn to accept frustrations and disappointments. Something else will replace what is lost... and it will be deserving of me.